Blood on her hands
by Won't-wear-a-Halo
Summary: When Sophia met Steve, everything seemed to fall into place. They just matched. They laughed, they talked for hours. But when tragedy strikes, everything seems to fall apart. Will they get through it together?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"You know, there are better places to get yourself a coffee fix" Sophia said to the impressive blond man before her. She smiled as he looked up questioningly.

"I do believe that is coffee in your cup as well" he said cocking an eyebrow, a small smile playing on his lips as he eyed the brown haired girl behind him.

"True, but I'm a broke student. You, sir, are not." she replied, saving her document and checking the time before closing her computer. It was three in the afternoon. She had been here, working since 11 and it was time for a well deserved break. She stretched in her chair and sighed deeply. She had gotten lost in her work as usual and hadn't even known this much time had past since her last break.

"You know who I am?" he asked a little surprised. His hand instinctively went up to his fake beard and moustache. Sophia chuckled.

"That disguise won't fool too many people, Mr. Rogers" Sophia said softly and shrugged, before offering him another smile. She wondered just how many people had passed him in the streets and wondered why he was disguising himself so half heartedly. By his reaction as she spoke, at least nobody had asked him thus far.

"So, tell me. Why would a man of your means get crappy coffee?" she prodded as she took a sip from her own, now cold, coffee. She nearly spit it out. Grimacing, she put her cup down and pushed it away from herself.

"Nostalgia" Steve answered and turned his chair around to face the girl that still sat behind him.

"Right, Brooklyn born and bred." she remembered.

"What about you?" he wondered.

"Why am I here?"

"Born and bred?" he clarified with a smile.

"Oh, well, I'm an army brat. So I've lived all over the place really. Came here to study" Sophia explained as she pointed to the books that cluttered her table.

"What are you studying?" Steve stood up from her chair and picked up one of her books. ' _The Elements of Style',_ _he read._ _The title didn't really tell him much at all._

"Creative writing. I'm Sophia by the way" Sophia extended her hand for him to shake, hoping her forward attitude had not scared him off. He was a hundred years old after all.

"Steve, nice to meet you!" he shook her hand and sat down at her table. After a few questions about her major, the conversation flowed quite naturally towards all area's of life. The sun hung low that afternoon, basking him a beautiful yellow/orange light that made his gorgeous face look angelic. His blue eyes looked at her piercingly as they spoke and she felt like she could drown in them. When she first noticed him, she had been afraid to speak to him. Smooth was not something people thought of when they thought of her.

When they were asked to leave the cafe, Sophia looked at Steve, eyes wide with surprise. She found he mirrored her look.

"It's five already?!" Sophia exclaimed shocked and Steve chuckled.

"Time flies" he said looking around the place to find that they had been the only ones left. Sophia quickly collected her things from the booth she had been sitting in all day as she wondered just how she could continue this conversation as long as she could.

"When you're having fun," she finished the sentence as they both got up and walked to the exit, "Which I had. It was really nice to meet you" Sophia added and extended her hand to him when they stood outside of the shop.

It really was time to go home, but she was sad to see the afternoon ending. She'd had fun getting to know Steve. A man she never thought would even look her way, let alone spend hours talking to her. She smoothed out her skirt and closed the zipper of her jacket as the breeze outside made her shiver.

"Me too" he said and shook her hand, not knowing what to say now. He too didn't want the conversation to end, but words evaded him.

Eventually Sophia nodded and turned around, beginning to walk away. Steve watched her retreating form. It had been a while since conversation had flowed so seamlessly. Who was he kidding, that really didn't happen to him. He was intrigued. He saw Sophia rounding a corner and made a decision, quickly jogging after her.

"Wait!" he called out as he rounded the corner and saw her a few metres in front of him, waiting for a red light at the crossing. She turned around, a little surprised to see him coming after her.

"Did I forget something?" she wondered and he smiled at her.

"You forgot to give me your number." he said, trying to be smooth. He wondered it his red cheeks ruined that a little. He felt nervous, he rarely was this straightforward.

"I did, silly me" she smiled and accepted his phone as he handed it to her. She quickly entered her number, while the light changed from red, to green, to red again. Not that she even noticed. Sophia was giddy. Elated that he took the time to get her number. Perhaps he had enjoyed their afternoon as much as she had.

"So, can I expect a call?" she wondered out loud, as she handed his phone back.

"Count on it" he said with a grin and she smiled brightly as she pressed the button for the traffic light again.

"I'll be waiting" she said and saw the light turn green again. Steve walked with her as she crossed the street.

"Can I ask you out?" he wanted to know. Even though the question was less than smooth.

"I don't know, can you?" Sophia silently screamed at herself. Why did she make this harder for him? If her incessant need for sarcasm cost her a date with Captain America, she would never forgive herself.

"Would you say yes?" He sounded hesitant now and Sophia made a mental note to keep her sarcasm to a minimum from now on.

"I would" she smiled and Steve felt his confidence return.

"How about this weekend?" He inquire hopefully.

"I'd like that" Sophia smiled again. She tried to remain outwardly calm, while she was getting really excited. They quickly made plans for that Saturday to meet at a diner nearby Sophia's place of work, before they went their separate ways.

Sophia could not believe her luck. As she was walking home from their meeting, she felt incredibly light on her feet. The drizzle that had begun shortly after they said their goodbye, had not hindered her at all and she took her time walking home, dancing in the rain.

By the time she arrived at the small apartment she shared with two other girls, she was soaked and cold. Quickly she walked over to the bathroom and discarded her wet clothes and put on some sweats she had laying around in there. She dried her hair a little and then dropped down on the couch in the living room. Her room mates were already in there, watching TV and initially didn't look up when she joined them. When she remained silent however, they looked up to see her smiling face staring off into space.

The volume of the TV was turned down and both girls, Janet and Zoe, turned to Sophia. Silently waiting for her to snap out of it. After a short while Janet became impatient and waved her hand in Sophia's line of sight. Sophia shook her head a little and looked at her friends eager faces.

"Studying huh?" Zoe teased, "Never gave me such a happy glow".

"I don't know, perhaps it was just really satisfying" Janet added and chuckled before adding, "What if she wrote herself a naughty little story?"

Sophia smiled at her friends and just shrugged, not really wanted to give them all the information. She wanted to revel in it a little longer. Her friends did not accept that as an answer though.

"What's his name?" Zoe pressed with a smile and raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow when Sophia just looked at her.

"I really don't know what you're talking about" she tried to sound innocent, but she could not keep a smile from forming on her lips again.

"His name is Steve" she simply said, not giving any more clues about his identity, these girls would freak out if they knew. They would be happy for her, surely, and they would share the news with everyone they ran into. Sophia was certain that that was not something she wanted.

"Okay Steve. Solid name, nothing weird" Janet stated nodding a little.

"He is a few years older. Tall, blond and really handsome" Sophia gushed and Zoe en Janet were hanging on her every word. They were curious who could have made their friend smile like this. Sophia was very social and outgoing, but she rarely liked someone. In fact, other then the occasional date that they had set up for her, they could not remember the last time she went out with someone that made her smile like this.

"Naturally" Janet laughed and Sophia ignored the jab. Janet always said that Sophia just radiated something that pulled in all the good looking men. And women for that matter. People flocked to Sophia. She was kind and happy and bubbly. She was radiant. And according to her friends the best part of that radiance was, that Sophia didn't care about it. She was just who she was. Unembellished.

"And we just talked for hours and it just...never got awkward or anything." Sophia explained.

"So will you see him again?" Zoe wanted to know now.

"This Saturday he is taking me out to dinner after work." Sophia told them and the girls squealed a bit. Sophia chuckled. She knew they would share her happiness.

"Do you know what you're going to wear?" Zoe asked and Sophia's eyes got wide. She had not thought that far ahead yet. Did she even have anything suitable in her closet? Mostly she wore jeans and a t-shirt. Or sweats, as soon as she got home. Not really dating attire.

"Don't worry, between our combined closets I am sure we'll find something" Zoe said, pulling Sophia off the couch and walking towards Sophia's room. It was time to prepare for the date. She only had two days to go.

* * *

 **A/N:** _I really hope you'll like it. This one was posted on Tumblr already, but I am revising it a little. This story will have 5 chapters and I am currently working on a sequel, although it is far from done._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

When Saturday rolled around, Sophia was up well before dawn. She had slept very little. As she looked at the time, a groan left her lips. There was still another hour before she had to get up, but was now wide awake. Begrudgingly she dragged herself out of bed and walked to the bathroom.

Hoping a long warm shower would relax her.

When she walked into work a good two hours later, she was perfectly groomed and ready for the night to begin. She only had to struggle through 7 hours of work first. She huffed at the thought, relaxation was not something she would find today.

Sophia worked in a bookshop and usually she liked it. Advising people on what to read next or what books to buy for someone else. Often she would daydream about having her own book sold here.

Today however, she just could not concentrate. Even during her break, she could not relax. Her mind went a hundred miles an hour, making her go through any roadblock she could encounter on her way to tonight. The hours ticked by slowly and she thought five o'clock just would not come. Finally the doors to the shop closed as the last patron left and she quickly began her part of the cleaning, eyeing the clock above the registers.

"Have somewhere to be?" one of her co-workers, Tim, wondered.

"Yes, I'm meeting someone in a little bit" she explained simply.

"a date?" Tim asked teasingly.

"As a matter of fact, yes" she said, feeling a smile creep unto her face.

"Well then , we better hurry this up" he smiled and picked up his pace a bit. Sophia smiled at him and mopped the floor. And as soon as they were all done with the clean up, Tim ushered her to the door.

"Have fun" he said, closing the door behind them and walking towards his car.

"Thanks, Tim. Have a nice weekend" she replied and began her stroll to the diner that was only a block from her job. She had plenty of time to get there, but still felt rushed as she moved through the crowds. Her mind was racing again. What if he did not show up. Or if he did and the date was horrible. Or she was horrible. Or...

At least a dozen scenarios crossed her mind, all of them worse than the previous one. She grumbled to herself and kept walking anyway.

Her phone buzzed and she feared it was Steve, cancelling on her. Sighing as she saw it was Zoe, she opened the app.

 _Good luck!_

Sophia smiled and sighed once more, trying to relax her shoulders. She just needed to loosen up and let it all come to her. It would all be fine in the end. After all, what was the worst that could go wrong? Her pride could get hurt. She had been there. She survived. She would again.

Steve was already standing in front of the diner, nervously looking around. He wondered if she was going to show up. Perhaps she had changed her mind. She knew who he was. She knew it would never be simple. Or quiet. What if that had scared her off?

He'd been early. Which he regretted now. People glanced his way repeatedly and it was unnerving. It had been a while since his last date and he worried that he would disappoint her.

Yet, when Sophia rounded the corner he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and smiled in her direction. It would be fine. She looked amazing.

As Sophia laid eyes on the handsome soldier, she felt a weight being lifted of her shoulders. Finally she could unwind. She took a deep steadying breath and picked up her pace a little. He had come. And they would have a nice dinner. She was sure of it.

"Hi," she simply said with a smile and he held the door to the diner open for her.

"Hi" he replied and followed her inside.

They were directed to a booth in the back of the diner and quickly sat down, ordering a drink while they waited for the menu's to be brought. Silence fell over the table and neither one really knew what to say in that moment. Both Sophia and Steve had been so nervous about this date and now that it was here, they were at a loss for words. With all their worrying, neither had thought of conversation starters.

"Have you been here before?" Sophia finally asked, trying to break the silence and the accompanying tension. They had spoken so effortlessly earlier that week. There had to be a way to get to that point again.

"Well, I have been in the diner that was here before this one." Steve replied.

"This one has been here for 20 years" Sophia said as she looked at the menu, which mentioned as much.

"It has been a while" Steve chuckled and Sophia remembered just how old he was.

"Right, I forgot" she said feeling a little embarrassed.

"Don't be. I don't exactly look my age" he offered with a shrug of the shoulders.

"That you don't" Sophia laughed. The tension was broken and he laughed along with her.

They ordered their food and talked the night away. When it was time to leave, Sophia felt that she knew the man beside her a lot better. And she liked him even more for it. He really was a good man. Gentle, kind. And being the gentlemen that he was, Steve insisted that he walk her home and Sophia happily accepted.

Walking through the chilly night, Steve hesitated momentarily before taking her hand in his. It felt good. Sophia smiled brightly as she looked from their intertwined hands up to his face.

Again conversation had come so easily to them and the night seemed to end all too soon. When they reached the door to her building they stopped.

"I would invite you in, it's just..."Sophia began. Not sure how to explain that she was certain her room mates would be waiting for her in the living room.

"I have an early morning, anyway" Steve replied.

"Right" Sophia said lightly bouncing from one foot to the other. The night had gone wonderful. And now she was nervous again. She liked the man before her and she wasn't sure yet if that was smart. Or if it was reciprocated. All she knew right now, was that she wanted him to kiss her.

"I would like to do this again." Steve said softly and Sophia could feel her heartbeat speeding up. That was something, right?

"Me too" she replied eagerly and offered him a big smile, "I had fun".

"Great" Steve replied and the smile on his face grew bigger.

They stood close together, inching closer ever so slightly, looking into each others eyes. Sophia wasn't tiny, but she had to look up to meet his gaze. His eyes flickered to her lips for a split second and he bend down, moving his lips closer to hers. Her stomach did a few flips as she felt his breath on her face. Her heart sped up dangerously as his hands slipped around her waist and she stood on her toes to meet him halfway.

His lips grazed hers, hesitantly, before they finally met in a gently kiss. His lips softly adding pressure on hers. Greedily Sophia opened her mouth and he deepened the kiss, tasting her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. She was sure then, she would take him upstairs despite her room-mates, until they were interrupted by his phone ringing. Slightly out of breath they parted and he took a moment before answering his phone.

Steve grunted into the phone, sounding annoyed.

"Now? Can't it wait?" he asked and sighed. Sophia waited quietly.

"I'll be there as soon as I can" he said angrily and Sophia looked down at her feet.

"I.." He began as he put the phone back in his jacket pocket.

"Duty calls" Sophia said and he nodded solemnly. He bent down again to give her quick peck on the lips.

"I'll call you when I get back?" he asked, rather than said and it was Sophia's turn to nod.

"As soon as I can" he said and gave her another quick kiss, before he started walking away. At the end of the street he looked back once more and waved, before walking out of sight.

Sophia sighed and took out her keys to open de door to her building. She was sad he had to leave so suddenly, but it could not wipe the smile of her face that this evening had put in place.

* * *

A/N: again this story is already posted on my tumblr. However I had edited it a bit. The story itself is uchanged but certain sentences flow differently now. Better, I think. I hope you'll like it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Months went by and Sophia still could not wipe the smile of her face. She and Steve had been going strong ever since that first, interrupted, date. He was gentle and kind and tremendously funny when he got comfortable around people. He had been a true gentleman and Sophia felt blessed for having met him. He made her happier than she thought she could ever be.

Sure, it had not all been sunshine and daisies. Sometimes he would have to cancel their plans for a mission. Which, while she understood, still really sucked. And whenever they went out, he would have to disguise himself, or they would be hounded by people who wanted to talk to and gawk at Captain America. And as much as she tried to be understanding of those people, she had been one of them after all, it was still hard. It made their relationship anything but typical. And it was certainly never boring.

All that said, they were yet to have any big arguments, which she was truly grateful for. And whenever they did have a disagreement, making up was so fun, they quickly forgot about it.

Sophia knew they had been lucky in terms of his job. Steve had not gotten too many long missions and was around quite often. Zoe and Janet had taken a liking to him rather quickly and the other avengers had treated Sophia with nothing but kindness. They had quickly accepted her and played pranks on her, as much as they did on each other.

Things were good.

So tonight, in honour of their six month anniversary, Steve was taking her out to dinner. He had planned to take her to the diner where they'd had their first date. Followed by a nice walk through Brooklyn.

Sophia couldn't wait. Dinner would be nice, surely, but it was the walk she longed for. Steve often let his guard down a little during those walks. Telling her about his dreams for the future. Things he wanted to happen, things he wanted to see. She loved listening to him as he spoke of these dreams. The world at their feet and every opportunity to take flight.

Of course his future wasn't as open en free as those conversations would imply. They were both very much aware of that. Still it was nice to dream, and to dream together.

Steve took her hand in his, as they walked across the Brooklyn bridge, and kissed the back of it. She smiled at him. They were walking to the middle of the bridge as they had done many times, to enjoy the view from there. It was a chilly night and Sophia pulled her scarf closer around her neck. On the bridge, wind was always a little tougher to avoid.

"Are you cold?" Steve asked as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

"Just a little, I'll be fine" she said, leaning into his chest, "I'll never get sick of this view" she added as she looked up at the starry sky. On the bridge, away from the many city lights, it got a little easier to see the stars. Of course, it wasn't the same as, for instance, the starry sky in the Australian outback, but it was beautiful nonetheless. She could only imagine the amount of stars they would be able to see if all the lights of the city would be turned off.

"Neither can I" Steve said, but he wasn't looking at the stars. Sophia laughed and pushed him a little.

"So cheesy" she said, turning around in his embrace to face him and hugged Steve close.

"You know you love it" Steve said, holding her close to him and kissing the top of her head.

"I do. And I love you" she said as she looked into his eyes.

"I love you too" he replied and placed a tender kiss on her lips.

Behind Steve a light flickered on and off, but they paid it no mind. It wasn't until Sophia saw a bat swinging towards Steve's head that either of them noticed that they were no longer alone on the bridge. Sophia screamed and Steve turned around to stop their attacker.

They were quickly overrun by a group of attackers and as Steve tried to keep Sophia between him and the railing, the attackers closed in on them. Whoever they were, they had come prepared and knew just how Steve fought. Countering many of his moves and pushing him, and Sophia, back towards the streets of Brooklyn.

There, the open space was no friend to them and men were able to pull Sophia away from Steve.

She kicked and screamed as best she could, fighting to stay close to Steve, just as he fought to keep her. But to no avail. They were stronger than Sophia and in large numbers. Even Steve could not fight his way through quickly. And quick he had to be. Seemingly out of nowhere a van appeared and Sophia was unceremoniously pushed inside, her shoes falling off in the process.

Steve shouted after her and started running after the van, while calling for Tony with his phone. Tony had luckily installed his number as quick dial number one. Steve could type that in blindly. Which helped him keep his eyes on the van in front of him.

It took Tony less that five minutes to have several people joining Steve on the ground, while he and Sam took off for an areal view of Brooklyn. However, no matter how quick they had been, nor how fast Steve had run, the van was gone. And so was Sophia.

It took some coaxing to get Steve back to their quarters to device a plan. Steve wanted to keep running, his anger getting the better of him and his common sense lost.

It wasn't until Natasha smacked him over the head that he stood still. Looking at her with surprise on his features.

"Good" she said, "now that you've snapped out of it, lets make a plan" she said and he solemnly nodded as he followed her to her car. Above them, redwing was still scouring the sky in search of the van that took Sophia away.

Steve got into the car and let Natasha drive them back to the tower. Natasha let him sit in silence. She knew he would not be ready to talk. And there was nothing she could offer up to make this better. Not yet. Though she good hope that they would figure this out.

As soon as Steve and Natasha walked into the conference room, he was met by de rest of the avengers. Tony had put several maps on display and was talking people through his idea for a grid search. He was already sending small teams off and looked up to meet Steve's eye.

"Steve, I teamed you up with Nat and Sam. Hope you're okay with this" Tony said carefully, knowing full well that the captain usually took charge. He also knew that Steve was in no mental state to think strategically. Steve just nodded and left the room, not speaking to anyone or even looking at any of them. He was too preoccupied.

He quickly walked towards the elevator and took it down to the armoury. Here he put on his suit and grabbed his guns and shield. Before he was done strapping everything on, Natasha and Sam joined him and got ready to leave for their part of the grid search.

None of them talked much as they set off on their mission. No words were needed between them. Luckily, because neither Sam nor Natasha had any words of comfort or encouragement to give at this point.

The next three weeks the Avengers searched the larger part of New York state and some of New Jersey as well. Quickly it became clear that there were actually three possible compounds that Sophia could be held at. Hydra bases. That Hydra was involved had been Steve's biggest fear. Bucky was a prime example of just how ruthless they were.

The avengers each took turns in scouting all three places to determine where Sophia would most likely be held. Steve did everything in a bit of a blur. His team-mates pulled him through it, while he went crazy with worry. He was never the kind of guy to worry about things he did not know, but his knowledge of Hydra actually scared him more than he would care to admit. He did not know what they were doing to her, but he knew very well that it would be bad.

In the mean time Sophia was slowly going out of her mind. She had no idea how much time had passed, as she was held in the dark. Not to mention the torture that she had endured. This had quite the disorienting effect, she had discovered. Sophia had been prodded and beaten and even water boarded. Her body felt heavy and her mind was sluggish. Even if she managed to get off the table she was on, there was no way she would get out of this room without falling down. She knew that there was no escaping this hell on her own.

After the last beating she took, she had passed out and she had only just woken up. She was slowly trying to take in her surroundings. It didn't take long to notice that they had brought her to a different room. Before there had been a mirror in the room. She had assumed it had been a two way mirror and that her attackers, whoever they were, had been watching her endure the torture they ordered for her. Probably a bit of a sport for these people, she thought sarcastically.

She was wondering why they had moved her, when someone in a hazard suit walked in. Without saying anything they simply took her temperature, checked some vitals and drew blood. Sophia tried to find a face behind the mask, but it was too dark in the room. The only light in the room now coming of the flash light the other person was wearing on it's head.

She tried to speak, but found her throat too sore to do so. She imagined she would not have gotten many answers any way. They had been ignoring every word she said and every sound she made, ever since they took her.

They had not asked her any questions either, which she had expected. After all why did they take her of not to get information on Steve and the avengers? It's not like she could have told them anything, but they didn't know that, right?

Instead of questions she had immediately been thrown in a dark room where the humidity was so high that there seemed to be a mist hanging. The mist had nearly chocked her, when they first threw her in the room. Seemingly engulfing her whole and clinging to her. She was frozen, laying on the floor. Uncertain of what was happening to her or how long they left her there.

When they took her out a short time later, she felt different. Like the humidity still clung to her skin. That feeling hadn't left yet. She could still feel it, along with all the bruises and needles marks that covered her body. Water, clinging to her skin. Beating to the drum of her heartbeat.

A tear fell from her eye, sliding down the side of her face, just passing her ear, before landing on the table beneath her. Everything hurt and all hope was quickly fading.

* * *

 _This was the first story I wrote for the MCU and the first after years of not writing fanfiction. Please let me know what you think._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When Steve finally found Sophia, something had changed. That much was clear, as soon as he looked into her eyes. The colour of her eyes had changed into a vibrant blue colour, that he had never seen before. Like a deep dark ocean that had a fire beneath them, which was slowly taking over. Devouring the waters. For a moment they took his breath away. The fire seemingly taking over Sophia's body. It shocked him.

Sophia was strapped to a table and he hurried to get her lose. Her whole body was shaking. She felt cold too the touch. Too cold. And he could smell the fear on her. What had they done to her?

Bruises covered her body, her skin was far too pale and her hair drenched in sweat. Needle marks on upper her arms showed they had injected her, but there was nothing in the room. He had no idea what they had put in her. And with the fights going on in the compound at this point, he was certain evidence would be lost forever.

"Sophia, I'm here," He whispered, as his hands moved fast to pull on her restraints," I'm here to take you home. You're safe now" he said and pulled her up from the table, wrapping his arms around her.

"Steve!"Sophia exclaimed, as if only now registering that he was there, "I'm scared" she said and pulled him closer to her as tears streamed down her face. Still shaking, she set her feet on the ground, wobbly as they were.

"I'm here now" Steve said and hugged her tight.

"They did something to me" Sophia whispered and looked up to him with fear in those strange vibrant blue eyes.

"We will figure it out. Let's just get out of here" He said and directed her towards the door he had used to enter the room. As soon as the door opened, sound came at them from all ends. Sophia felt it pounding through her head and lost her footing. Luckily Steve was there to catch her before she fell to the ground. He steadied her and as soon as she seemed ready, he got them moving again.

Outside the room they were greeted by Natasha, who looked at Sophia with a hint of surprise before her face became unreadable again.

"We need to move" Natasha said and signalled for Steve and Sophia to go ahead of her. She would protect their backs.

Steve kept an arm around Sophia as he moved her through the corridor at a quick pace. Sophia tried to match his stride, but he was quite fast and she was just so tired. She struggled but kept moving, until Steve stopped her at the end of the corridor. He pushed her behind him and glanced around the corner.

She slumped against the wall. Exhaustion was pulling at her. Trying to get her to surrender to it and just close her eyes. Perhaps a second would be enough, her body seemed to tell her. Sophia kept telling herself to stay awake, but she knew it was really only a matter of time before her body would stop cooperating.

"This hallway is clear," the voice of Clint interrupted her thoughts, she looked to see the familiar face walking towards them. Steve turned back to Sophia, he saw the exhaustion on her face and with a simple look at Natasha and Clint, he picked her up. Clint nodded and began walking, staying in front of them, while walking quickly. Natasha kept up the rear.

Sophia was glad to be off her feet and leaned into Steve. She could feel her eyes dropping and she fought to keep them open. She couldn't sleep until they were safely out of the compound.

The next corridor led them outside and Sophia was blinded by a huge light that flashed the bridge they were nearing. She could see the quinjet in the distant, about a mile away from the bridge and she felt relieved. It would not be long now. She could almost close her eyes. Freedom was close and she could almost touch it.

That was when they were attacked and Steve quickly put her on the ground. Sophia could feel a new burst of adrenaline coursing through her veins and this gave a little strength to keep standing. She didn't expect she could ask much more of herself, but standing on her own was a good thing.

She leaned on the handrail, that lined the bridge and slowly let Natasha inch her forward while Clint and Steve fought off their attackers.

As soon as they had crossed the bridge, Natasha told her to hide somewhere along the tree line and joined in on the fighting. Their path to the quinjet had been blocked by their attackers on one side and a massive body of water on the other side. Sophia looked around and saw she had been held in a compound by a dam. She looked at the dark body of water and wondered if she really saw rings of movement in them or if she was just imagining those. Rings you get when a drop of water falls into a puddle or something. That's what it looked like.

Sophia quickly ducked into some bushed and tried to find herself a good hiding place amongst them. She could feel her mind unravel as panic took over. She saw Steve fighting off several attackers. Natasha by his side. She couldn't see anybody else, but they had followed them outside she was sure of it. Sophia wasn't trained to fight, she didn't know what to do. Even if she had not been this exhausted, she would have been of no use to them. Her abduction had showed her that much.

As she hunched underneath one of the larger shrubs at the treeline, rain started falling down on them. Softly at first, but quickly it was pouring. The drops of water fell down on her and the liquid seemed to speak to her. She could detect every small vibration that her surroundings brought to the water. She didn't know why, but assumed it was something they had done to her. Panic rose once again from the pit of stomach and it took all her will power to sit silently under the cover of plants.

Her surprise was so big, however, that she took her eye of her surroundings and just watched the droplets on her hand dance around. Something in her core seemed to dance along to the rhythm of the rain.

She was distracted by this feeling and didn't notice the men that were sneaking up on her, until the grabbed her and started pulling her back towards the compound. One of the men had quickly covered her mouth with tape, so she wouldn't scream and alert Steve.

As the panic swirled inside of her, the rhythm in her core sped up. Sophia could feel her insides turning and starting to boil. She wasn't sure just what was happening, fear gripping at her. All she knew, was that ir hurt so much, and she needed to scream. As if to let out the energy building inside of her.

Just as she was on the bridge, getting closer to the compound, located in the dam, she felt a surge go through her. Almost like a release, something snapped inside of her. The pain ebbed away and for a second she let the relief come over her.

Sophia momentarily relaxed in the arms of her captures as she relished in the absence of pain. It had been excruciating. However, the release of the pain without her doing anything, also scared her half to death. She strained her neck to look around her, hoping to see what was happening around her, when screams erupted all around her. Fearful screams. Her captures stopped and she could look over the edge of the bridge. Below them the dam was giving way to the water it had been keeping in place. The lower parts of the compound quickly being flushed with water.

Sophia could almost feel the water rising beneath her, as if she was connected to it. A string that tied her to it, pulling it upwards, closer to her. It didn't take her long to realise that this must have been her doing. With eyes wide open in fear, she tried to push the water back, to no avail. She had no control over this massive body of water at this point.

Around her the rain seemed to pelt down harder and the men holding her, quickly let go. The rain was pelting down on them, slashing at them. They looked at her with fear and confusion. Sophia wasn't sure what to do now. Her whole body was in turmoil and she couldn't find a way to control it. Panic surged through her and her mind was in chaos.

The men that had been holding her started running towards land, Sophia quickly followed. She needed to get away from the water that was overtaking the compound. The compound was quickly overrun by the water and fearful screams filled the air as Sophia just tried to get on land as quickly as she could. Again she ran for the tree line and dropped down on the ground as soon as she felt she was at a safe distance from the dam.

"I did this" Sophia whispered as she looked at her hands. Rain was still pouring down on her and she cried as she tried to keep her hands from shaking.

"Babe!" Steve screamed as he came closer, dropping down next to her. He moved to wrap her in his arms but Sophia quickly moved away from him. She crawled on hands and feet as quick as she could.

"Don't touch me" she screamed, her voice thick with panic.

"Sophia, please" Steve pleaded with her, unaware of the war going on inside of her. He didn't understand why she pulled back from him.

"I did this" she whispered again.

"What do you mean?" he asked and looked at Natasha to see if she could make sense of this.

"I did this" Sophia just repeated and Natasha gasped.

"They did something to you.."Natasha recalled the words Sophia had spoken earlier.

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked irritably.

"They probably took her through terrigenesis or enhanced her in some other way" Natasha explain and Steve looked back at Sophia wide eyed.

"I killed all those people" Sophia whispered as sobs overtook her. Steve moved closer to Sophia and softly took her hand.

"This is not your fault" Steve whispered. When Sophia didn't pull back from him, he moved closer and wrapped her in his arms.

"Let me take you to the tower. We will take care of you" Steve whispered in her ear and Sophia was too numb by now to object. Shock had taken over her senses and all she could do was look at her hands. Those hands had killed at least a two dozen people, even though she still did not understand just how it worked.

"We will figure this out"Steve tried to reassure her as he scooped her up from the ground and carried her to the quinjet at a jogging pace.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Her tears flowed as she stood under the scorching water coming from her shower head, scrubbing her skin until it was red and raw. It did nothing to sooth her aching heart. Nor did it help her feel clean. It seemed that nothing did, no matter how hard she tried. She still felt dirty somehow.

She also felt horrible, isolated from reality and utterly alone.

Inevitably it was time to turn of the water and get out of the shower. She could not stay in there forever, though it seemed tempting. She sighed deep and loudly while she grabbed a towel and began to dry herself off. She winced as the raw skin burned when the towel passed it. The pain seemed fitting to her. She felt that she deserved the pain. After all the pain she had caused. New tears slipped from her eyes as she thought once more of what she had done. All the lives that were lost because of her. The people she had killed. Unintentionally, sure, but they died by her hand nonetheless.

As she slipped on some sweatpants and a tank top, she listened for noises outside of her room She knew what was coming. Who would be coming. It was only a matter of time. He had not stopped coming since she had been brought here. He kept trying and she kept pushing him away. Knowing that it hurt him, but she just could not let him in. At least not yet. She could not make him understand, when it all still dazzled her. How could she explain her feelings if they eluded her still.

Dropping back on the bed, that stood in the middle of the back wall, she resigned to waiting, flicking through channels on the TV, not really seeing anything. She passed the time.

About thirty minutes later, she heard footsteps coming closer shortly before there was a knock on the door. Dropping the remote from her hand, she pulled herself up against the headboard and pulled her knees to her chest, not letting the person on the other side of the door know that she had heard him. She eyed the door suspiciously, even thought she knew he would not enter without her permission.

"Sophia, it's me," his voice started softly, "Can I come in? Please?" Steve pleaded with her. She could not ignore the pleading tone in his voice and it broke her heart. She had heard it all week and it did not get easier to hear. She sighed once more as a single tear fell from her eye onto her knee. She longed for his arms around her, telling her everything would be all right. But she knew, he could not fix this. Everything would most certainly not be okay.

"Okay," she replied quietly, half-hoping he would not hear her. Of course he did, though. He had been hoping for this response all week. She imagined his ear pressed against the door as he had waited for her reply. Just as she had almost seen him sit down outside her door the days before. His back leaning against the door as he pleaded with her. Or when he just talked to her. Those times she had heard the tears in his voice and he struggled to keep forming words. It had taken all she had not to open the door then.

Steve opened the door calmly and walked in. He looked miserable. His eyes sunken into his face, lined by deep dark circles. His shoulders were hunched and his hair and clothes were dishevelled. She wondered if he had gotten any sleep at all the past week. Probably not. He sat down on the edge of the bed, keeping some distance between them. He looked at her for a split second, before he looked down at the floor, not speaking right away.

"Steve," Sophia said softly, as she tried to find his line of sight. He looked up and into her eyes. The pain and guilt evident in his eyes took her breath away. She gasped as she saw him and her resolve to keep her distance was quickly shot. She knew she should not have let him in. But she had. And now she found herself inching forward and placing her right hand on his left cheek.

"Steve," she said more urgent this time and he just leaned into her hand, as tears fell from his eyes.

"I am SO sorry" he whispered and Sophia started crying too.

"This isn't on you!" she said as she wrapped her arms around him in a desperate hug.

"I should have been able to protect you," Steve as he returned the hug with an equal amount of desperation. She climbed on his lap, not breaking the hug. Trying to get as close to him as possible. To hold him close. To comfort him and take away his guilt. He did not deserve to have that way on him.

"No one could have saved me," she said and pulled back enough to look him into the eyes, "I mean it," She pressed making sure he saw the truth to her words in her eyes, "They had this planned to meticulously and neither of us had a clue".

"How are you feeling," Steve then asked, dropping the subject for the time being. He knew it was selfish to linger on his guilt as opposed to her immense struggle.

"I.." Sophia began, pulling back from the hug completely, and getting of his lap. She didn't move further away though as she wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't know what to say.

She began to fidget with her finger nails. Horrible, was all that came to mind. However, she did not want to pile that unto his already massive amount of guilt. She looked down at her clean hands and wondered if the blood she felt would ever go away.

'I..." Sophia began again, while she kept her gaze down on her hands. Steve placed his own hands on top of them and she grasped onto them. She started crying again. Sophia wondered if there was a limit to the amount of tears a person had. If so, she was sure to never cry a single tear again after this. She would have surely hit her quota.

"I don't know how to live with this" she said with a voice chocked with grief, "I have so much blood on my hands now and I just...how do I get past that?" she said and it was now his turn to pull her into a hug.

Steve tried his best to comfort her. He didn't know what to say to ease her pain. He knew it wasn't truly on her hands. And he had told her so, several times. As had others. It was just not sinking in with her. And he understood why.

"This is not your fault Sophia," he began, "and I will do everything in my power to help you through this. I promise," he whispered into her ear and he felt her arms squeeze tighter around him.

"I love you" Steve said and kissed her head.

"I love you too" she replied as she pulled back to allow his kisses to travel to her face.

He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose and finally her mouth, while he kept repeating just how much he loved her.

The desperation to be close to one another overcame them and the kisses turned into much more as she let herself fall back onto the bed, pulling him with her.

Their problems were far from being solved and they both knew this. But right now they just wanted to be close to each other, to feel the other. To hold each other and find some form of comfort.

Sophia knew she had lots to work through before she could move forward. However, she knew she wanted to move forward with her captain. She knew she wanted him, needed him, craved him.

There was not one molecule in her body that wanted or even could do this without him.

He still made her feel safe and loved, even after everything that had happened.

Steve Rogers loved her and she loved him more than anything. And for now that was enough.


End file.
